I grew up with dad, then with mum, then with dad, and now with mum, then back with dad, but at mums house she had an ashtray full of little bits of trash and cigarette ash, a hamster that bit through the metal parts of the cage and ran away, at mums house it was … Continue reading I lived with mum then dad.
a howl and a growl as the hours go by, and the trees they all sway in the whisper of the night, the shadows they curve as they swerve when the wind passes through, enchanting, gasping, at the size of the wolf moon. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- carry bag, leaves, they glide along water, and the droplets they … Continue reading wolf moon.
I've been getting this horrible heart sensations, and terrible palpitations, i thought my anxiety, would never get the best of me, but its only been a week. I didn't think it would be heart break. ----------------------------------------------------- I've been getting these terrible dreams, they come and go as they please, and in the day, bad negative … Continue reading heart
hey, have you forgiven me yet? give me a chance to explain at the next event, its hard to go i still feel your ghost, so alone, I don't know whats close. I've spent so many nights alone, cant you just take me home? the winters made things difficult, and summer seems so far away. … Continue reading forgive me.
So, so much is happening, I dont know if I'm excited about sharing this with anyone. I've got a writing fever but have to focus on exams, focusing so much so that I've deactivated social media for now apart from Twitter. It's been a crazy week already, the kids are back at school and I … Continue reading 7th Jan Something’s changed. Hull we need action
Um. I feel bit rubbish if I'm honest. I cant believe we are already on the 2nd of January and I have my first exam on the 7th. I want to pass it but I keep telling myself I wont, the children where off unwell so long during December so I missed lots of work … Continue reading Good morning
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fuck all. in fact in bed i decided to crawl, i had the worst migraine , the kids had been arguing all day. So tell me about your day, rub your celebrating in my face. Hell yeah its a new day, goodbye to a whole year? for an anxious person like myself, that's too … Continue reading the things i did on new years eve
For all the answers I will never hear, I will keep writing letters you'll never see, and for all the texts you will never read, phone calls, you never call, rain drops, that never fall, I will keep writing and writing, until I write myself happy.
Goodnight, Goodnight, Goodnight, hope you sleep well tonight. Don’t be afraid, As your laid, Close your eyes and try to sleep, Tomorrow will be a new day. It’s time your rest your body and lay, Relax your brain. And dream away. Goodnight my sweet love, goodnight my dear.
You see, You and me we are the same, We don't change, Every bitter bone in our bodies breaks, when we don't get what we want, and your heart shrinks the slightest bit more the further you go, You can kid yourself all you like, all you wish, but we don't build as many bridges … Continue reading just as bad
I was hoping it was you. I have missed you for so long. I have searched every google, yahoo, msn, search engine with your name, every Facebook wall, and now I am faced with a number, I thought, I deleted. It took me so long to find you. I have missed you. I have longed … Continue reading Longed
I know that I’m a fuck up Dad... But at least I’m man enough to admit it, And I know that I’m a little sad, But at least I’m strong enough to deal with it. Oh I know I’m a fuck up dad, You never paid for my prom dress, And I aint even mad... … Continue reading Prom
It near enough kills me, Knowing I'm not enough, and you hurt me so bad, that I hurt you back, I have stooped so low, I recognise that, and im sorry, but sorrys not even significant enough anymore, I will forever feel that I didn't do enough, but its ok, we all make mistakes, but … Continue reading spinning
There is probably no point in texting or calling, no point in knocking, or just stopping by, no point in posting, searching or looking, thinking or hoping, i'm leaving i'm leaving, this is goodbye.
That could of been us, That could of been you, That could of been me, You see, It could have been our family, It could have been. I remember when you first pointed it out to me, That person having a baby so happily, A couple formed that no one ever could have seen. And … Continue reading us
My hearts suffocating. This isn’t the end. It’s destroying my soul. This isn’t the end . Was this always your goal? This isn’t the end. My heart a million pieces, tiny, shattered, sharp deathly edges, Blood pours out from the screams of my shadow, At last I think I’m starting to get shallow, Where my … Continue reading Key
emergency surgery : ~ my hero.. is a man in blue uniform, a name I won't recall, what I have left from being under the knife, scars are a reminder of my hero's work, he gave me chance to live my life, for what he did im really glad, I wish I could thank him … Continue reading my hero is a man in blue uniform
My teeth grind And the chip on my tooth cracks Like the brittleness in my finger nails that snap And I feel like I never meant anything to happen like that But it’s to late to discuss the facts My tongue rough and my eyes sore I hope you got what you waited for Anxiety … Continue reading teeth
I hold up this needle I push the thin thread through the thin thread does not go through I drop the needle I pick up the needle I push the thin thread towards the tiny sharp needle the thin thread refuses to go through the tiny hole it wont go in, it fights, it bends, … Continue reading Needle
Praying for your reach to reach me, But I guess the changes and the same damn things that keep happening don’t teach me, And I’m lying and crying for what ? When you clearly have everything you got, You don’t need me right now, And I don’t know what to do and how to say … Continue reading I just want you to leave
It doesn’t matter now, In fact it doesn’t even hurt, Not one bit, It doesn’t affect my daily movements or thoughts, It doesn’t stop me eating, It doesn’t stop me being sociable, Or from showering, I mean, I’m not wearing the same clothes since I last saw you, And the smell of you isn’t still … Continue reading it matters…
Sunflower in a wine bottle There was a sunflower in the wine bottle, On top of the table my grandfather helped me get home Before my son was born. Left in the garden over night and in the day, Wilting by the second Like our love. Sunflower in the wine bottle Placed in the middle, … Continue reading Sunflower in the wine bottle
I heard you say you needed me and you'd buy your friend drinks for eternity and you called my name as if it where the perfect thing that you prayed for so what did i get so wrong? you destroyed me thank you.
oh shit, imagine that. I took them keys, to this bigger house, these bigger plans, that you had. oh shit, imagine that. you'd have your way, wouldn't you. we would have all these luxuries, cause oh shit, you was telling me, imagine that, and we spend years doing this shit, ripping each other apart, and … Continue reading oh shit.
You wanted me to be there for you. but you used me as a dump, to put your shit inside. and instead of asking why I cried, you played the 'what about me' card, what about me? when we drank litres of alcohol, destroyed our friendship because you wanted some, you went around using your … Continue reading your brain is programmed ‘what about me’
so i see you sent your messenger and you told her but i know you never told her the truth 'stop its not fair' wait i don't care it wasn't fair what you did the shit you spilt this is on you and if you cant tell her the truth then, its going to be … Continue reading stop its not fair
Pull down this zip On the outside of my body I want to unwind to somebody Jazz music plays blasts out the saxophone So tired of crying and dancing alone I want those street lights amber casting down on me rain puddles kicked every drop landing Pull down this zip unwind my body i'm tired … Continue reading zip
I get it now inside those sad eyes you had no strength to say that you didn't see us leaving the way we came and you came here for one last time you liked the feeling didn't you one last Fuck for the road the one your taking alone you wanted one more before you … Continue reading One last
I sat for some time whilst you went off to the toilet. Watching the children run up and down splashing in the sea pretending to be mermaids, picking up giant rocks and bringing them to me like absolute nutters almost landing them on their toes. So much laughter, so much sun and so much happiness, … Continue reading I was anxious – part 9- Hornsea
Thank you everyone who has stuck around to be with me on my writing journey I hope to see more of you in the new year. Thanks for your love and support! Wishing you a merry Christmas! for your chance to win a free signed poetry book please comment on this post … Continue reading Tell me a highlight of your year and win a free signed poetry book!
For the best part things seemed to be bubbling over for me mentally. In reflection Summer greated us with tremendous thunder storms. I remember you texting me one evening when you went round the corner to play warhammer games with a friend. The lightening was so bright and the thunder was a beautiful drumming sound … Continue reading I was anxious-Part 23- theres always rain after a storm.
Do you remember the fall? I've seen it all, I've seen you, Putting my makeup on and you stand around me. Tell me you think I'm pretty without it and theres no need. Glancing up at the bathroom mirror. And I see you stand there. You remember the fall? It was harder than the autumn. … Continue reading Fall
Let me give you, a perfect reminder of why your worth every second and every moment. See, your scars are stars around here, your harms are open arms around here. We will listen. You deserve every drop of water, every breath of air. You deserve love and affection and care. You deserved to feel loved … Continue reading Permanent
OK so I thought of this yesterday morning whilst having a shower. I was reading the bottles and I wanted to play with the words that manufactures use to sell their products. This is just a silly poem. Shower song Like shampoo I will leave you succulent and full of sense Fresh and revived Free … Continue reading Shower song
Jan/16 I'd have done everything and anything, Just to be by your side, I'd of made those scrambled eggs, Toast all fried, I can't believe the amount I've lost And I can't believe the amount I've cried, I feel so restless, I barely sleep, And I keep rubbing my eyes, The realisation that you really … Continue reading Lost
I should probably go out But I don’t feel there’s anywhere to go That I belong And I did this once or twice before Then I had people knocking at the door All I’d give is to be alone But at the same time to be at the other end of your phone Just so … Continue reading Rubber ball
Don't stop writing, Let words give you courage to keep on, Fighting. Let flames go on their own, Without you smouldering them.... Let the damage burn, Don't touch. Let them cool whilst you recover them, Don't stop writing, For it is your freedom to feel whatever you wish, Without the judgement of harsh characters, In … Continue reading Fighting
Your body, real, Solid. Your shadow seen, Grey, Dark around the sketching. Your body, real, A solid, Oxygen, atoms. Your body real, Legs, move, walk, Feet, drop, stomp, I lift your arms, Up Then Down They don't flop, because you look at me strangely and tense them. Your body real, Blood, A liquid, Bones a … Continue reading Vanish
There's no time, Left to Hurt, Tell me it's what you want, That's the perfect part, Falling apart. There's no time, Left to Hurt, If he wants what he wants he can go get it, He doesn't need to, Because he's already got it. Fuck me, I want to make love, Fuck me, I want … Continue reading Hurt
And tonight, I relapse, So what you gonna do? Get the rule book out, And scream at me rule by rule? Tonight I relapse, Back into the monster I got rid, I've been battling insomnia , Whilst babys drool falls on to the bib. I am screaming out for comfort, As I stare around the … Continue reading Relapse
You let yourself in, To escape from all the corrupt things that where happening, And I took you in, I was listening, Without questioning the invitation I never sent. And I was careless because I was young and just wanted to be in love. That was my weakness. There was no confess no apology, And … Continue reading I never invited you. You let yourself in.
Four seasons Vivaldi - He was a socialist Waiting for the people on the other end, As I anticipate the call to send. The four seasons screeches in my ear, Waiting for the goverment to hear, My pleas and begs for them to not take more, For I am struggling of course, They punish me … Continue reading The dwp call
My body, slides past on a convayer belt, of broken hearts, the button inside wont restart, thrown and tossed into a pile.
I'm shy but not really, smile, but I'm secrectly. . .crying, I'm laughing, but silent, but I'm chatting, I'm shy, but not really... I'm cold, and im needy, The Attention You Give Me Smokes Like Fire, Beneath Me, Your A Charm, And Its Creepy, So I Remain Shy, Till You See Me.
https://www.femalefirst.co.uk/books/tara-gould-the-haunting-of-strawberry-water-1224696.html Often in our society women are not given enough support during their first pregnancy, and after the shock of childbirth. With the recent cuts to NHS this support is less available now than it has been in decades. Check out the link.
I've been experiencing some real life situations, Coming to harsh realisations, No answers given by people, And driven by this feeling that's given, Constant absence and low mood, In a world of my own. You can say my name but it doesnt belong, I have no idea what's been going on, And at last I … Continue reading Low mood.