HEARTACHE ABSENCE AND THE DAMAGE OF AUSTERITY
I missed your warmth around me the skin on skin contact that connection that makes you feel complete I missed it when our eyes would meet I missed your careless observations of the world when you said you didn't want any other girl your lingering feeling like your soul within me I miss us being … Continue reading missed (human contact)
(adult content/visual upsetting language ) Baby's breath still warm from battle screeches and tugging of uncut cord from mothers wounds cold touch would be unjoyous bleeding gushes, scars mark places where a human was once homed. baby's breath gasping and face mottled skin colour pink oxygen new food, a new survival skill to learn as fresh … Continue reading baby
New father winces and paces up hospital ward floors with swinging doors and clamped down windows he is hesitant after no sleep and craves comforting, he wants attention even if physically nothing has been happening to him, he is exhausted, the true reality of becoming a dad is overwhelming, that walking away seems like the … Continue reading father
I always get tanned toes Because I put suncream on up to my elbows And who knows If you’ll stay or if you’ll go? I see that’s just how things tend to be Tomorrow I don’t know who I will be Seasons change like my personality Really, I shouldn’t care what you think of me … Continue reading Toes
Your face it shines like baby smooth skin even though your 20 something. Your hair its silk lets anyone in and if you're on a mission to find a man then I will give you the tips of what you should do and cant people gonna be jealous of where you're at and stealing your … Continue reading Youth
1 night turned into 3 week stay. This was no holiday vacation Whole summer trapped inside Womens screams oxygen tanks knocking and equipment bashing How people work here is beyond me it’s a strength no one mentions. Midwives don’t show much emotion on their face Recycling bin blue uniform of midwifery wear flashes in corners … Continue reading 1 night
Mother handed plastic crutches to get out of the hospital For it is her turn to be free even if her lack of ability to walk is questionable New baby is fine and healthy so she must be let go Her bed made readily available With crisp hard cotton sheets reapplied Maternity ward must free … Continue reading Mother
Do you drive by these parts? Following fragments of my shattered heart? Do you ever walk by ? Does my profile ever catch your eye? Are you even still alive! Or just lust the torment inside my mind. Is everything all fictional ? Are emotions all subliminal ? Could it be tomorrow or today? Do … Continue reading Drive by.
I swear back then when I was her I couldn't see the lights smog all clogged up in my face thank god I'm in a better place now I think I'm lucky and I got a good escape for your love was uncanny and filled with mistakes I'm not one for wishing memories away I'm … Continue reading Fuckin lucky
Hello everyone, I’m sorry I haven’t been able to blog for awhile been hectic few months with the lockdown and having the kids at home juggling what I have left of a degree! as well as preparing for this years SheFest in East Riding . As always I am great full for everyone who comes … Continue reading Update
16 and pregnant
You abused me till it became amusing, time-consuming, hopelessly bruised, and that's when it hit me. You left me I had no control just some post stick notes on the bedroom wall, and that's when it hit me. You consumed me till I could no longer see, forgetting how to swim, you all … Continue reading that’s when it hit me
Heavy eyes Weakened muscles Exhaustion comes in Exhaustion comes in And you wasn’t there when I needed you the most I swear I could have done with comforting when I needed it the most Unempathtic words meet unempathtic ghosts.
Youve got nothing on me with your sharp tongue and negativity nothing. You're about to slip up, oh aint that a shame, and I got nothing left, not even blame, you got nothing on me no temptations, no broken rules just to be with you,
Its difficult to adjust to changes, changes never gave us time. and life never gave us patience, I know that you dont believe, but your broken soul will heal, amongst the ray of sun, along the cocktail of sunflower yellow, it will lift you out, and my … Continue reading Broken Butterfly
I got bullied at school for having hairy legs, My parents solution was to shave them, But also not to give into the bully.
A tree was only a root to start with And now it’s a giant.
I need 1000 poundsAnd a train tricket out of YorkshireA couple of fagsAnd a holiday brochureA trip hazard sign and a perfect pictureWe took on some mud filled bank sideWhere you fell on your back sideYou’re hurt stillBut I promiseI didn’t lieIt’s kinda shit that it endedAnd we took different sidesI don’t blame you if … Continue reading Over the Humber
Ripped up envelopes And letters never posted Hundreds and debts and bills Savings never counted.
there are spies inside my life they try to work out if what I am doing is wrong or right they judge me for my life but they don't know a thing.
If I could decide, I would want you, to lay me down, Real calm. And quiet.
I used to love you Turns out I don’t love you the same way I used to You can’t just change your mind now It’s a bit late You can’t just say you’d come around It’s too late I just want some peace That’s all she said I deserve some peace. That’s all I get … Continue reading Peace.
You was supposed to show me the way Older Wiser You lead me astray I wanted your freedom Now I’m in a cage You trapped me I’m weakened Lovers curse won’t go away For normality I thought it was Took advantage of my trust A bit of passion, lust You tangled me up Over pushed … Continue reading You was
Instead of anger show me love comfort me when I am no longer able to see Instead of bitterness give me hugs, tell me its ok to wait, its ok to be cautious. Instead of anger, that you rage down on me, give me space and time to let me breathe, give me … Continue reading Instead of anger show me love.
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Even when you are alone you are never really alone, I swear. I know its not easy and sometimes unfair, But I promise even when you feel alone, you aren't alone, because I am here.
I never had the chance to say to you all thank you for all the support and likes and your comments and you standing by me when no one else would. This means more to me than you will ever know and I cant wait to keep sharing with you and keep writing. … Continue reading I’ve not completely vanished yet
that's right, maybe I cant talk to you because you dropped me as soon as you got some, you left me for a man, you dumped me as fast as the pan you burnt your hand on, I told you you cant cook spaghetti! you chucked me because I dont have a cock to satisfy … Continue reading jealous.
and although I hate it, when will we start living again? just so I can have a feud with the bin men. so, I can climb on a stinking bus again, have the glares off tutting wed up and well looked after mothers, times where the pram keeps falling from … Continue reading and although I hate it
nostalgic walls and nostalgic floors clothes cars worn shoes music feel touch nostalgic .
there are many things wrong with me and some may say im childish but really im just starving in the memories of places and things I have not had chance to see and be in.
I tried to call you rejected them all that's OK to do that's what you choose to do and that's how you feel.
This is the part that hurts the part where I dont talk again this is the part where I completely vanish and where words once said are banished this is the place where I inhale the rain and breathe out the cigarette again where the smoke combines into one another climbing carelessly amongst the water … Continue reading This is the part that hurts
naked flames set forests on fire, and its taking me hours and hours to finally get back out of the forest. It was dark and cold and I didn't like it , the ground smelt like mould, you should of seen it, the trees all around they all look the same, and there is no … Continue reading naked flames set forests on fire
He liked me as I was and that was extra special, He cared for me for who I was and that was something special, He didn’t even get that cross and that was really special, Or maybe I am lost and that should have all been, normal. Now he is just some ghost a person … Continue reading Special, not so special
if only you really knew how much your words and actions hurt me and IF ONLY YOU acted soon enough this is tough time to process.
call me a name, damn it, smash up this home, do something crazy, so I dont feel on my own.
today I feel hurt. today, I dont feel the same, and im not sure why because not much has really changed, I feel a stomach churning, and grumble, but I dont know why.
it might not be the most functional friendship,but I care about you till the end,I mean it.your talented and caring, in your own way.I can tell people have treated you the wrong way,and it hurts because I know there's people on this earth,that have not had to deal with the shit you have.your my everything, … Continue reading Everything, my all.
