3rd of August 2003
Dad and my step mum have been arguing for days now. I don’t really understand what they’re arguing about I’m too young to get it. Although it does make me feel on edge. Dad seems to be very strict always sending me to my room but my step brother is always alowed out into the garden and I sit and watch him sometimes from my bedroom window.
I saw them digging together , my step mum was telling us to look for roman coins and I wanted to find dinosaur bones or treasure. Everything was going fine and then dad came back and he sent me to my room.
They’re still arguing I just woke up to them having loud words with one another . I blame myself . Because I know sometimes I get a little stroppy but I don’t mean for it to cause all this. I just feel left out all the time and dads always telling me off . Or my step mum gets mad and I don’t really understand why. I haven’t seen my mum for some time too because she’s not well again. I didn’t think that the cold or flu would stop you being able to see your kid for weeks. But I suppose I will just have to wait till she is better. I do miss her though.
I did something wrong I was a brat so they say in there arguments, I couldn’t help but over hear and just started crying sitting by my bedroom door. Then my dad thumped on the door and I jumped right out of my skin.
‘Get dressed’ he said and walked off.
I have no idea where we are going and dad won’t really talk to me he’s not said what’s wrong or what’s happening.
We arrived in York some hour later and he took me around the city and town not really saying much at all. He then asked me if I would like an ice cream of course I would have liked an ice cream I hadn’t eaten lunch for a day or so, I kept being told to eat what I get off the plate or get nothing at all. I really struggle to eat I get upset stomach or it taste funny, or I just don’t feel like eating. I think that’s maybe what made my step mum upset. Dad got me a huge ice cream and we continued to walk down the tiny little pebbled street to watch street performers and someone pretending to be a statue.