Letters youll never see 29th October 2019

Dear,

I’ve been looking at this fucking essay for 11 days. Only you would know how to tackle it.

Old policing, new policing whats the difference why did the uk introduce new style policing, what about the watchmen, the people who was going out their way to keep order, non paid non uniformed. New police style more functional, paid, introduced to tackle new class wars.

I know where your heart was and where it could of been. I was observing your emotions and listening to every word, stories you told me your desires interests. I wanted to be there to support you, give you back that part if your brain you used up on topics you enjoyed, your intelligent enough to do so. But you put yourself down, so down, that’s not healthy you know. It makes me think now that all the things we spoke about meant nothing.

Theres way to many old grounds I cant keep going over everytime I meet someone, so for now all I tell people is my name is Lilyth, anything after that they can figure out for themselves.

After all the tragedy you need to make sure you care for yourself. I dont know why you wouldnt want to go out there and enjoy it, do what you love you deserve to be bloody happy. Even if you enjoy punishing yourself and living like a tramp.

I’m not normally as OCD but I’ve decided to start developing rules I keep by and maybe it is just a phase for now but it makes me smile.

1. Make some bloody effort

( make up, clean your hair, force yourself to get in the fucking shower your not a year 5 pupil anymore and the water supply isn’t cut off from hot water so bloody sort yourself out.)

2. Smile

(Even if it kills you)

3. Act like you are dumber than you think

(By this I mean dont jump ahead stop putting your arm up in lectures your only making yourself harder to approach. Noone likes a teachers pet ever. Even if it’s easier to relate to older people especially lecturers. Even if you are older now, classed as a mature student and watched your fellow friends leave and graduate twice )

That’s right I’ve seen two graduate years leave, walk out. Go off enjoy thier lovely lives as a new graduate, soaking up the debt and driving in cars thier daddy’s bought them.

Fun.

Yours

Lilyth

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