I was anxious – part 7

No one likes a liar and no one likes an anxious freak even though society is changing we are much more aware of mental health it still doesn’t mean that means people will automatically accept you or try to understand.

Someone I know who had deep mental health conditions understands their own mental health very clearly but when it comes to anybody else’s mental health or should I say my anxiety. There is no understanding at all.

This person is a very close person a family person. Someone I really needed, because without them I would have struggled.

My father hasn’t been around for a long time I would like to say 8 years because that’s the time he made me homeless. But I’ve seen him in between but not for maybe almost 3 years.

See to him I am a disgrace, how dare I have sex and have a child how dare I have children.

See the pattern?

No.

My dad was hard to understand and although many people didn’t and couldn’t understand him it didn’t stop him being who he was.

So I ask myself this, should I stop writing should I refrain from my feelings and thoughts is it worth the stress?

The thing is we are too obsessed with everyone else we never think about our own needs.

We are obsessed with Facebook yet Facebook only tells people the things we think others want to know.

So when I share poems my writing my opinions you will be surprised to learn that it is not what people want to hear.

No one wants to read about someone crying their heart out, no one wants to open their eyes to domestic abuse, no one wants to accept that they’re a giant arsehole that talks shit behind people’s backs through messenger.

We want likes , we want power, we want control.

It’s only natural.

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