Dear Reader,

I’m not sure how to reach you really, I tried your name in the search engine a few times, and then I looked at your face to see if I could think of anything. Its sort of sad that I have started to feel this way.

Nothings changed for me really, but for the rest of the world, well it feels like a war, or so people say. It is the most powerful war because it is invisible, no one knows the invader. and I know I know, I should probably read more because I feel like there are lots of things that relate to what is happening now. I dont want to sound like a paranoid writer, I hate being that kind of person. But after writing about how my anxiety was right one time I suppose I should try and and trust my instincts some more.

I cant say that they are always right, because they aren’t.

What I have learnt from grief that there is never really a great time to talk but I suppose someone has to start the talking on way or other.

I was always the one that opened their mouth at the wrong time because not sure what to say or maybe it way because there was silence that needed words filling.

I always used to feel bad at school if there was a class room full of kids and I could see a teacher really putting in the hard effort into the lesson but the kids didn’t want to listen and didn’t want to put their hand up, I know that I would.

I will always be remembered for the kid who was a weirdo and was bullied and then knocked up at 16.

It didn’t surprise me when I went back to that place that I still felt some anger, I was lost really and I didn’t get the support I needed from that school. How they noticed that I was getting bullied amongst other things, but didn’t do much, is beyond me, I have also started to notice that maybe my audience of readers is adjusting slightly so I just want to pipe down the swearing a lot, cos kids its not cool to swear all the time!

You know I am really happy you keep coming back and you keep reading with me its kind, and I am happy that my words can help, i’m not sure how , you know just keep being strong and you will get there and things do tend to alter and shift about, I mean I have had almost 10 years of madness, I can totally share that with you too! If you want to stick around,

Anyway,  what sort of PM goes into hospitals and shakes sick people and laughs and jokes about it, unless its being staged?? and he didn’t think there was a threat, or maybe he was trying to tell us something. I mean what PM !! GOES IN TO A HOSPITAL AND SHAKES A SICK PERSONS HAND THAT HAS A CONTAGIOUS WITH A VIRUS…. ARE YOU FOLLOWING WHAT I AM SAYING? THIS IS SOMEONE WHO HAS A HIGH CLASS QUALIFICATIONS. So you must be taking the piss out of me and the rest of the country or there is more to the story!!!

I mean come on have you not seen history!

The leaders and the people that tend to slip up on things get killed off I mean its in all the greatest movies right?

We are in a different world to what was during the wars. For a start we have the internet and for another start we have these leaders that use phone, that’s right, phones, mobile phones with cameras and they film themselves!!!

Have you not noticed that these people have noticed that we are not communicating the same way as we have. In the past we would send letters and letters are not seen ! I mean I called my blog ‘letters you’ll never see’ (just saying) .




dont forget that these things are still out there even when you are grieving and keep an eye on how you feel. Mental health is a very powerful thing, and if something is in your face all the time, you know you are bound to feel a little sick.








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