jealous.

that’s right,

maybe I cant talk to you because you dropped me as soon as you got some,

you left me for a man,

you dumped me as fast as the pan you burnt your hand on, I told you you cant cook spaghetti!

you chucked me because I dont have a cock to satisfy you that way,

and I wish friends we could have remained, but truth is when I needed you,

you looked the other way,

and I dont mean to be a cow, a bitch or whatever you may think.

but its probably because I am jealous,  and everyone else gets that fall in love, and they never had to look, I get the quick fuck and the request for giving hand jobs near staplers car park,

the place where all the lucky girls get asked to go on the motor way near the Deep in Hull,

they double check im of age first, obviously ,

even though at 16 I still looked 13, and I had to get older men to buy me cider, even with a fake ID,

I get knocked up, I get thrown out and I get shouted at,

im like the paper that blows out of the bonfire,

and all the party guests run over to try and STOMP IT OUT, instead of trying to recover it and read it first in case it might be interesting,

that’s right, im the sweet wrapper that sticks to your fingers, or the toilet roll when you was snorting coke in the loo gets stuck to your shoe,

thats me, thats I,

and your opinions wont really change me that much, but I wont forget how you made me feel,

im the dim lights that wont shine, on out of use carriage, on the Ferris wheel,

the hot dogs and beer that I stay well clear,

queasy faces on school trips, to cow dung fields somewhere in Yorkshire,

where even the teachers dont give a shit!

and the school report that mediocre doesn’t really help me to advance, and my parents never really took a second glance,

and I cant dance! but I TRY

I’LL CLIMB, on the tables and rave to music I’ve never heard,

I’ll kiss all the guys that force themselves on to me,

because I dont know when to stop or when the lines are crossed,

I’ll be the girl with glow sticks and make up that makes me look like im some hot chic,

that makes the drunk men talk shit,

everyone else’s advantage to their disadvantages,

breathe easy, drink till sleepy, but I will always stay loyal.

and if there is some one that needs defending, I will be there in a heart beat.

It can take its toll, probably because I am a Capricorn,

and probably because

well,

sometimes, I get jealous.

 

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/binge-drinking-women-alcoholism-media-sexist-a7497576.html

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a8634963/college-freshmen-dies-in-dorm-room-after-night-of-binge-drinking/

 

One thought on “jealous.

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