Sunday. ( idea for play:16 and pregnant)

It was Sunday morning and I was walking for the bus with the pram. The wheels kept making this clicking noise over every bump in the ground, noises seem to get to me more at the moment with the lack of sleep. Always annoys me when the gravel gets stuck into the plastic, the only way to get it out is if you pick it out with your nails. It had been raining and people were walking around with umbrellas.

For some reason I didn’t look both ways when crossing at the zebra crossing I must have got distracted by the sound of the rain and the cars. This massive car went right through the middle completely soaking me with grainy mucky rainwater.

Could have been worse.

I kept on walking to the bus stop and stood under the shelter. Thinking I could probably get some cheap Primark leggings once in town.

I remember when I was breastfeeding in the first few months if I was in town and milk leaked through I’d grab a cheap Primark top and shove the other one in the pram bag. Thing is I’d then forget I’d done that then it be too late to clean the top.

Still, was never pleasant breastfeeding in town, disabled bogs and cafe corners, I’d like to say that it’s improved but people still give you rude looks.

It wasn’t really a cold day despite the rain. Buses came every 45 minutes because it was Sunday. I was starting to regret leaving the house.

Still least the baby is asleep.

I got 25 quid in the bank and a tenner in my purse till next Friday. The bus costs about 3 quid, so I can get myself 99p chips and maybe a drink once I get to town.

Then walk I guess.  Wander about.

Sometimes I can spend hours just staring at stuff, you might think that its a bit lonely but I enjoy seeing clothes and things I probably won’t ever buy and observing the other new parents (still together) and groups of young women enjoying their selves, makes me hope one day that could be me.

The strangest observation I’ve found is women in Boots and Superdrug, some of them even try on the makeup I think ( how many have had their lips on that and fingers in this) urm, gross.

It makes me anxious being a single mum, sometimes it feels like an almost emptiness, a dead weight inside me like I know people can support each other but why don’t I get a little bit of that?

I see couples that cherish their newlywed relations blessed with a child and I feel odd, left out as if somethings been stolen from me.

50 minutes later…

Finally, the bus arrives it’s steamed up 3 people get off and I go to load the pram then the driver shakes his head.

“No room Love”

So backwards I go offloading the pram.

The doors shut tight in my face and the glaring mothers and teenagers with headphones all stare lifelessly as the bus glides into the distance.

I see single people in cars and sometimes think about climbing inside of them. After all, they’ve been telling us in the news how global warming is affecting everyone.

Still least the baby is still asleep.

So, I sit under the bus shelter.

Sometimes I go through my phone 5 or 6 times a day to see if there is anyone I could text so I do that for a while.

Its been almost an hour since I left the house and I’m starting to think I could have walked to town by now.

Not much point in going, so I suppose I will head back home…

Still least the baby is still asleep.

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