1 night

1 night turned into 3 week stay.

This was no holiday vacation

Whole summer trapped inside Womens screams oxygen tanks knocking and equipment bashing

How people work here is beyond me it’s a strength no one mentions.

Midwives don’t show much emotion on their face

Recycling bin blue uniform of midwifery wear flashes in corners of my eye from the hospital ward room door

Red button is there but told only for absolute emergencies

They are short staffed and have little time

This has now become my concern

Rules must be reminded and remembered

High white blood cell count provides further evidence to why I shouldn’t have be discharged

So they say as if it was me that discharged myself

Envious infection wants to rip me down and kill me unless loneliness does first.

It’s mid July and people ask if I am tanned but it’s jaundice skin

For three weeks I have been told I am mentally unstable and pains are phantom

I need to get a grip and care for the new infant

I am sick

This is 2018

Partner abandons all responsibility to defend and respond to my needs

So here I lay in paper thin hospital nightgown families come and go leaving with their precious bundles,

Balloons and greatingcards

women in fresh new jogging pants or summer dresses hiding previous bump

Staff ask where he is what time family are about to visit

I reply

“They aren’t”

Family feuds and selfish behaviours prolonged recovery

Slickly stealing my dignity in being a woman and a mother

In glazed eyes they see only themselves during my suffering.

One thought on “1 night

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