30 packets of 30p painkillers
Pain relief I seem to not get relief from anymore
Fluctuations in diet
I prepare my meals for one, most nights
I remember your plate plentiful
I was relieved
I thought you didn’t eat.
30 packets of 30p paracetamol
Dirt cheap, too cheap, easily accessible.
If I get cancer, developed further insomnia driving me to insanity or something kills me
Please tell the kids I love them, please,
I have no piece of paper saying I’ve been there and done it,
You judge me on my age and not my behaviour because I haven’t been there and seen it,
Like dominos you say people go so I should be mindful of that in life,
But I have 30 packets of painkillers and I’ve been taking them all year, is that right?
Blood tests, screening and abdominal scans,
I’ve had freak accidents, freak incidents so will it all go to plan,
I’m going to enter a year on my own in a world of my own, by myself,
That’s right it’s me myself and nobody else,
But that’s ok.
So long as nature is on my side I suppose I don’t mind.
I will meet someone one day and we will fit in just right, or take pride in the climb if I make it out alive,
It seems trivial I know, to someone who doesn’t understand where I’m coming from,
You said in hindsight could of gone slow and that’s something you didn’t mind,
Is it making you happy for sure, I’m quite honestly surprised,
I honestly thought people in love didn’t want their loved one to suffer,
But I swear I’ve been drowning for months in your cold hearted gutter,
It’s a good job I still don’t smoke , I’ve not touched one drop of alcohol,
I think my odd aches and pains are coming from your withdrawal.