I have been uploading on YouTube and on instagram feel welcome to take a look will update with poems soon Thankyou for all your time ❤️ hope everyone is okay 💖
noise is just noisy
and my hair is all knotty
hands, feet, ache.
I feel like I’ve been bitten by a snake
last night was sort of heavy
and I really wasn’t ready
to hear all the news
of your latest affair
I’m done with being perfect
if you want me, you’ll make it work
if you don’t, then I don’t care
at least I made my point clear
I don’t think
I will make drinking my hobby
I’m feeling sort of
Why I write poems
I didn’t think I would have to do a post like this I feel like this is my only defence as its been happening a few times this year now. The odd troll and the odd person who continue to attack me through social media.
I have met some pretty amazing people that I wouldn’t have met if it wasn’t for myself pushing myself out there and going to events. It took me months to get up onto the stage and read a poem and it taken me years to do anything like what I am doing now.
I know I have a small audience in which I cherish, and I won’t ever know if the audience will grow. But I am happy with where I am right now in the poetry journey and writing journey.
Its been so hard to find the confidence to do this I have never had much confidence in anything even growing up as a kid.
I haven’t done any of this to harm anyone I just love writing.
But I have now been pushed into a corner where I feel like I have to explain why I write, I know that I have lost some friends because I have been writing and sharing but that’s fine maybe I surprised them maybe it’s not their taste…
I know that some people assume they know all the meanings behind the poems but really it is for your own imagination some are from experiences some aren’t some are made up some are from other peoples lives and love stories. Growing up in a fucked up cyber communication world.
Some are about people that have been in and out of my life, they’re not all about the same person or event.
Lastly, I have never forced anyone to read any of my work. I knew that I would face challenges doing this and sharing on such wide platforms. I never would have thought that I would have to feel like I must explain myself and I hope I wont need to again.
I love words, I love emotive language and expression , imagination , notebooks pens, I love hearing from people who tell me that my poem made them cry happy made them think made them want to write and send me a poem to read. Its just amazing and I feel now I have only been able to talk to these people through the internet that I cant leave them now.
I just want to be able to write freely, be myself.
Like all the other amazing poets I’ve met this year.
hello its me
another benefits mum
another where the fucks my child maintenance?
skint at the end of the week
if i rent a house they need 6 month bank statements
in case i’m dodgy
nothing is private
hello its me
another benefits mum
I’ve had my housing delayed
rent nearly late
I made it
tried to get work
but the childcare cost more than a roof and food combined
Hi its me another benefits mum
apart from i’m always off my bum
i’m walking around these streets day in and out repeatedly
and now i’m
another mum asking another mum for a lump sum
to get some food for the little ones
such a strange life to be
when money is controlling me
trapped in a system
cant break free
politicians put a number on me
like a cow in a field
and the media makes me sound like i am some kind of scum
but its hard i have little ones calling me mum
so i must have a responsibility
but the pressure society puts on me
makes me feel like i cant breathe
people assume its how i want to be
i could imagine being anywhere better…..
What’s wrong with me?
You tell me all the things I want to hear
And I want you to want me like you say you do
But I can’t be in love with you?
I can’t find the way to restart this game?
And things just don’t seem to feel the same?
What is wrong with me ?
Your telling me the things I died to hear…
I miss you… still
I hate every lingering habit
I picked up from you
every shoulder shrug
every empty hug
every empty rumble from not eating from anxiety before arriving at yours… I miss you…. Still… I miss that I can’t fucking text
and if I do ill become a crazy ex
I hate that I can’t just turn up and say
because you’ll push me away.
I hate that your probably at the other side of the world by now.
and im frozen in the palm of your hands.
I picture myself in my coat with the fluffy hood
looking up to you as snow falls
the part where I feel in love
I still miss…. this
this feeling where I’m so fucking high
and I can’t take you off my mind
the days of hours sat wondering
what the hell we are doing and if your going to end up coming… over
stumbling… words like broken stairs that lead to nowhere
and im scared, that I miss you…. Still.
You can ruin my parade today
You can piss on my bonfire
You can eat all the birthday cake say they’re left overs and was by mistake
You can shit stir you can make me look like a fool
You can do it all you want because I’m giving up
Aaaaaand that’s ok, with me !
You can scare off all possible opportunities
You can take away my pride at least
You can act as though I am a beast
You can make out that I am a thief
It doesn’t seem to make much difference
Your efforts are insignificant
Aaaaaand that’s ok , with me!
You can burst all my balloons
You can call me names destroy my fun
You can trick me into loving you
Punish me time and time
I don’t care I guess I’m fine
Aaaaaaand that’s ok, with me!