Spirit

about mental health

F

Do you remember the fall?

I’ve seen it all,

I’ve seen you,

Putting my makeup on and you stand around me.

Tell me you think I’m pretty without it and theres no need.

Glancing up at the bathroom mirror.

And I see you stand there.

You remember the fall?

It was harder than the autumn.

Harsher than the winter

Do you remember falling ?

Intoxicated no heels to be ahead of,

Pulling scruffs of little pieces of fluff from the arm of your tops, from the knots in the trousers.

Passing the mints across from my lips to your mouth in a kiss that was supposed to be a peck but turned into a snog.

Appreciating every crease and crinkle running my finger along them all.

Till night bed comes and we fall.

Do you remember it at all?

Do you remember the fall?

Do you remember the fall?

I notice that it’s too late and time has been a part of reassurance for you. I realise that maybe your face it changed and I took a piece for you. Perhaps just like you I think its fate and it’s taken a toll.

Let them hear me screaming nonsense, let them search and guess, leave them clueless.

Fall,

Permanent

Let me give you, a perfect reminder of why your worth every second and every moment.

See, your scars are stars around here, your harms are open arms around here. We will listen.

You deserve every drop of water, every breath of air.

You deserve love and affection and care.

You deserved to feel loved not compared.

You are the world.

No matter how long it takes your strength will grow.

You will find a way, you know. You know.

Let this be a permanent reminder,that YOU are worthy of life.

Even if it means you got to take tiny steps each day, at a time.

The world is yours, the world is you, not the other way around. You own noone nothing.

Somewhere around here you will discover your crown, even if you’ve been knocked down.

Your hurt, your warn, it’s cool.

Your smile will return soon.

When ever you are ready to show.

Be proud.

Even if you feel buried in sound.

Your feeling distraught, it’s allowed.

This is a permanent reminder.

That YOU are worthy of life.

Rubber ball

I should probably go out

But I don’t feel there’s anywhere to go

That I belong

And I did this once or twice before

Then I had people knocking at the door

All I’d give is to be alone

But at the same time to be at the other end of your phone

Just so I could see if you see all my replies

Or ignore me and pump me up with lies

My body bursts and aches from your deceit

Should I at last hold up my hands in defeat

My body it weeps

Blown away by the cold air not long ago

I take each day more vitamins than you know

And why do I keep fighting

When I don’t know what I’m fighting for

You mention my health but you really don’t see

This is now pain you’ve inflicted on me

It makes no sense

No sense at all

Im done fed up of being your rubber ball.

Perhaps

Perhaps a little bit of bother would solve a little bit of nothing, that’s going nowhere , just a smidge, a little teeny tiny bit of bother, just a little bit, teeny weeny,

helpful handy,

merry happy,

fun lucky,

perhaps teeny tiny bit of money, teeny tiny bit of friends, pretending like the worlds about to end…

melancholy.

I carried ‘me’

(sorry this is an angry poem… but the moral is that you have your back no matter what don’t fall on someone else always look after yourself! 🙂

I carried me

I have this
horrible
gut feeling
that something more
is coming
no way did I frighten you?
seriously?
you didn’t seem frightened or terrified when you was trying to put your tongue down my throat
you didn’t seem scared or terrified when you was trying to get me to sleep over
you didn’t seem worried or petrified when I knock on your door
you didn’t seem scared or cared when you offered to take me back home!
I carried me!
I carried me!
you was nowhere to be found
I carried me!
I carried me!
I put my feet back on the ground

I have this horrible gut feeling
that something is about to happen
I want to prevent it but I just can’t seem to handle
you really think I’d make this up and go out all my way
do you really think I believe your shit that you didn’t like me because you thought that you was gay?
burry me in lies and things I would never dream or do
as long as your back is clear for you to carry on and pursue
and if she is non the wiser than fool her and fool you
I carried me!
I carried me!
you was nowhere to be found.
I carried me!
I carried me!
I put my feet back on the ground.
I carried me!
I carried me!
you was up there smoking crap
I carried me!
I carried me!
you took my heart now give it back

My head hits the pillow

my head hits the pillow.. down falls my body

laying on the sheet

down goes my worries

inside it heats

off goes the quilt

my head hits the pillow

my head hits the pillow

Monday soon turns to Sunday

and Saturdays never felt the same since I was 18

thats a whole lot of alcohol

a whole lot of drinking

now people asking me why I don’t just have a bottle

my head hits the pillow

another pillow

another bed

and beside me another head

my body falls

it lands inside the sheets

my worries climb in

like I gave them some kind of welcoming

I’m a disaster and you still persue me

that’s a shame

my head hits the pillow

down goes my head

head on the pillow again and again…

Deadly

depression is an illness that knows no forgiveness. depression is deadly and can take over if you let it

depression is cunning and scarily addictive

can cast out a shadow of your worst fears and doubts

depression is a dementure that takes over your soul,

it feeds off your body it can swallow you whole,

depression is an illness a deadly disease,

it can spread it if you let it, take down cities and streets,

we need to work harder a cure must be there,

depression is deadly it just doesn’t care…

depression is darkness its voiceless and sharp,

intelligent and pretty like a spark in the heart,

don’t let depression make you feel guilty ashamed or afraid,

take back the courage to fight it away.

dont let people tell you your abnormal or strange, depression is common and can hurt anyone daily…

depression is close it came a couple of times, yeah a few, but I met some great people who had been through it too,

they gave me some pointers,

some tips to get rid,

but the remedy not quite there,

sometimes it can win.

Lavender

Days and days go by,

my sweet god,

I’ve been waiting for you,

Your calming eyes,

Blue with a haze of purple ,

Black dot in the circle ,

You’ve been travelling through the night to get to me, at last ,

You was careful ,

You’ve found me…

My sweet lover ,

You was almost saturated in a fountain of bloody water,

Now your turning it back to blue,

Slipping your hands in and out ,

Is it better on the other side ?

My sweet god ,

With your calming heroic energy ,

Disastrous weather never bothered thee ,

And golden robes drape down on he,

The god of positive energy ,

Calming like

‘Lavender’

…growing in fields in France waving around it dances

Grab my hand whilst where standing ,

You came to me ,

Rescued me from drowning ,

My sweet god.

calming eyes,

Blue with a haze of purple,

Black dot in the circle,

golden robes right to your ankle ,

Your halo above it sparkles,

Will you rip it down wrap it round me neck and strangle ?

I’ve always been too much for a god to handle ,

Are you sure that I won’t be too much of a handful ?

I know I could be like ,

Lavender.

We don’t ever speak of Lavender

Would it ever be like Lavender?

Does she smell just like Lavender?

~

Sweet god, my traveller,

Eyes Blue with a haze of purple,

Black dot in the circle,

You travelled all this way,

Too meet me in the fields of gray,

To tell me it’s way too late….

anxiety my chains

Anxiety my chains
.
I’m shy,
but not really,
smile,
but I’m                  secrectly,
crying.
I’m laughing!
silent,
but I’m chatting!
.
I’m shy,
but not really.
I’m cold,
and im needy.
the
attention
you
give
me
smokes
like
fire
in my belly.
and im ready,
when your ready…
slow  ,
but I’m steady,
quick,
and on edge,
anxiety.
my chains
just want to feel,’normal’ again.
.

depression is criminal

there is no room
for me
there are no seats
for me
nowhere for me to go
no place
no home
no friends that walk along
no place that I belong
and depression it carries on
no room
she needed me at one point
and doesn’t need me anymore
and he got angry impatient
out he walked
right out of the door
he hurt me twice and over
but I still let him in
and she moved away to somewhere
to far for me to be
family seem absent
don’t notice me these days
and temperatures
keep rising
nothing seems to change
I hear a voice it murmers
somewhere in the crowd
I’m hoping he will remember me
but the depressions far too loud
soon the tumble takes over
and the reality falls apart
it’s taking me forever
to keep up with my heart….

belongs to me

belongs to me
.
my body,
is for my enjoyment,
every strap,
every lace,
every mark,
beauty spot,
it belongs to me.
my body is,
MY temple,
and I will not give you one piece!
if I choose to share with you,
then you,
shall respect it,
as if it is your own,
it is not for you to comment,
I will not be objectified,
sexualised,
or demonised,
I do things for my own satisfaction,
no man, No other,
not for their joy,
entertainment,
my body it belongs to me.

Hey ! Please take a look at my friends WordPress poetry 🥰 if you have time he’s new to writing but has written some incredible poems 🥰

https://mystory638.wordpress.com