drinking

I was anxious- part 25 – I gave you back your clothes.

It was Thursday and you was at work. I was in town going to primark, on my own. I was wearing my yellow coat, hair pinned, makeup on. I wasn’t going to let what brought me down stop me taking care of myself.

Plus if you see me looking fine then it’s all fine.

You had been avoiding me and you vanished.

You left some clothes at mine I offered to help clean and dry because you dont have a working washing machine.

You didn’t bother to collect them.

Pretty sloppy really.

You was like oh right “hi” and “thankyou” you then followed me out of the door and said “so, you got any plans then” you nearly got me teared up I mean you fucking vanished POOF and then your asking me if I had plans.

“No. Not really.”

“You not seeing your friend”

“No not heard off them”

“Oh right”

“Not got uni?”

I just said I was going and said bye, you was stood leaning on the door. It was like some stupidly soppy romance film that had gone terribly wrong.

It was a haunting moment. You actually looked sad.

The next week I realised you left your charger. I mean you said it’s fine keep it but I really didn’t want any pieces of you left behind. How is it fair that I have to live with reminders but you can go about your daily life not giving a shit.

I went through town after counselling to return it.

I was stood for a little bit and I sort of thought you knew I was there but ignored me.

I said I will leave it on the till then.

You just said ‘ok thanks then Lil’ and sat back down. You had grown a massive beard.

I haven’t been back since haven’t even walked in that area. The thought of it makes me want to be sick.

You had a carseat and I said I was in no rush. Since what fecking use of it is to me when I have no car.

I said leave it at our friends I will get it at some point. It ended up with a friend of a friend. I actually thought you’d bring it back after the party.

You was in a rush you wanted me out as much as I wanted you out. Maybe?

Party.

It was it was our friends birthday party and I said I wasn’t sure at first if I should go but you said it would be ok maybe awkward at first.

I wasnt planning on staying long I had a gift and needed to drop it off.

Then I realised a whole conversation was happening without me behind closed doors.

That was low.

So, I wasn’t allowed to go to the party in the end.

& that was that, everything had been returned to where it should have been at least in smaller areas.

I was anxious-part 19-It was Friday

It was Friday and you had been let down again from seeing the girls.

We managed to get over most of the hurdles we faced during the middle.

We spoke a bit more and we was on a good page with one another.

I wanted to surprise you treat you.

We was both wearing jumpers that looked the same which made me giggle, we was alike and it was nice.

I like being around people who are alike and can relate.

You had no idea but I wanted to get out of the house, things where getting you down and I could tell.

So we went out for dinner and I bought you whatever you fancied.

You was telling me about the foods you liked and enjoyed and said you would show me how to cook them and could make my own versions I wanted to make, for what I was able to eat.

Fridays where strange you finished earlier on a Friday then what you would on a Wednesday and Thursday.

You would remind me this every week.

I tried to cheer you up help you understand that it probably isn’t personal at all and you kept telling me how worried you was that maybe the kids wouldnt want to know you the older they became.

I said that wouldn’t be likely and that kids that age like seeing their friends and not hanging out with their parents.

It meant alot to you and I respected that and you agreed to just try and keep communicating.

You was proud that you was able to maintain a mutural set up with you ex said that you knew that to some people would think that was really weird but I didnt think that.

Not when kids are involved and if it was ended on a basis where you both came to agreements with things then that’s really positive and I think that if people can put their differences aside it makes it easier for everyone.

Life is too short to be arguing all the time and making things difficult for one another.

Why was I any different?

I was the meaningless jigsaw piece.

Maybe it was because we wasn’t talking for a massive amount of time but it felt like I had known you for years. I felt like we just clicked, I couldn’t have imagined anything like this ever happening.

At the very worst I would have thought we would have been friends.

The further I come from this, the more time alone I have, the less it feels like that was even my life.

Its strange it feels now like a wandering dream.

Unreal.

People keep bringing up your name and I really don’t know what to say, there are so many things that I don’t know.

I hold my hands up and I apologise, I ask what it was that I did and you never reply. 

People say that, that’s because you don’t want to know and the quicker I notice this the easier and better the outcome will be for me.

Maybe something awful happened maybe something happened that you cant tell me about, maybe the truth is you are back with your ex and that’s why you said that people thought it was weird.

Maybe someone said something about me or maybe someone said that I said something about you.

Maybe your sick, or maybe my reaction to you calling me your ex’s name really did piss you off.

Maybe the poem following that pissed you off, maybe you thought some poems I shared where about you.

I’m not sure. I’m not certain.

As I said before in the other parts we never had a row, we didn’t have an argument and it was all left on a really bizzare note.

It was Tuesday and you came over after work you was a bit grumpy as was I and I felt really off unwell, it wasn’t you I was just tired from the school runs after school and starting university.

Maybe you felt that because I was at University that we had different paths, but really that wasn’t your choice to make.

You made choices that week that I didn’t understand and choices I made you didn’t understand.

It was Wednesday and you offered to help with the school runs it was fine. But then that’s when you called me your ex’s name.

Nothing was said about it in the moment. I was in shock because it was a little bit random and first thing, but I just said I needed to think about it I never said I was angry.

I said I needed some space and maybe see you at the weekend since you work late on Wednesdays and Thursdays.

To you this was overreacting, to me it was having time to think about it.

For both of us.

It was Thursday and I hadn’t really heard from you from the Wednesday morning, you used to ask if you could call me, you would text me every 8am saying hey with a waving emoji and say good morning.

All of this was dissolving. 

I needed to do something in town and you work in  town and I thought it would have been nice to say hello and surprise you.

You didn’t like this you didn’t let me in and you  told me there and then abruptly that you did not like surprises.

I couldn’t look at you.

I felt like there was something you was hiding not telling me and I was getting worried.

I really didn’t think that it was worth being this big a deal and wanted to resolve things.

People may think otherwise but honestly all I ever do is to try and resolve things, it makes it easier and better for everyone.

You was cold.

I had never seen you behave so cold.

Ever.

Saturday came and it was the first ever Saturday I had had without the kids since moving in and it was a great chance to talk and try and resolve things.

You finshed work at 5pm on a Saturday but for whatever reason you chose to stay on and not speak to me until half 7 almost 8.

You couldn’t look at me you was just looking at the floor and having cig after cig.

Saying words and not finishing the sentences.

I had seen this look before on my children when they knew they had done something wrong but there wasn’t really anything that big.

I didn’t want you to feel bad.

I just was confused.

You looked so pale and unwell it was unsettling.

You was saying words like ‘look’ and ‘and..’ ‘maybe’ and not really saying much at all, whilst the steam from your cup of tea was floating off into the garden.

I asked you if you didn’t want to talk or see me anymore, and you said ‘oh no of course not its not that’ and then started talking about having a sched.

You said that you wasn’t happy with my reaction in the week and I upset you  coming too see you before work. I apologised.

Next thing we went to the bar where you had first come to see me after a poetry night that had finished.

It made me think so much that in the beginning  you did the exact same thing to me you came to see me with no notice, you contacted me and came round and you was persuing me.

I did not act the way that you was.

It didn’t stop you continuing the night and continuing to have drinks with me and a laugh and tell me how nice I looked and how lucky you thought you was.

It didn’t stop you taking me across the road into another bar and continue to talk to me for another 3 hours.

We was in Pave and we spoke about your parents your family.

We spoke about your experiance at university.

We spoke about christmas and we spoke about what your family may have thought about us talking and you was happy and you said that they would be happy and it would have been nice for me to meet them.

You told me in such great detail about the things that you had been though.

We then spoke about filming and films you had been involved in making and ones that you wanted to do.

I told you about the book that I was writing and you told me about what you was writing and that you seeing me write made you want to grow that passion again. 

Your phone died and you kept hinting.

I didnt know what you was on about.

You went off to the toilet and I glared down at my phone and saw the message.

YOU said that you was having such an amazing night.

Last orders.

Sainsbury’s was shut  and its never shut so we went to the garage because we wanted more cigs.

I hadn’t really eaten much so I got drunk a little bit easier than normal.

…..

We got back to mine and I put some music on I said that we never got chance to dance at spiders that night and maybe we should try it again sometime.

I may have been drunk but I remember everything.

You didn’t want to talk you was all affectionate.

Sunday.

You took me to F&B we had a meal and it was a rip off, I did try and pre-warn you but it felt like you wanted to treat me or spend time with me maybe.

We was umming and arring about what we should do as we was hanging a little bit from the pub drinking.

It was 3pm and you was grumpy tired and you started to stop looking at me again. I felt unhappy even though it had been so nice talking and everything.

It was 3pm and you started going on about needing to use the laundrette and that you needed to go home and get some sleep so I said sure whatever it takes for you to go and be ok.

My feelings was never considered in your scenarios, you went home and you didn’t message me.

It was Monday and I didn’t hear anything, you didn’t mention the weekend and you didn’t ask if I was ok.

It was Tuesday and I just started saying to friends that I think its done because I hadn’t had  converstaion with you.

It was Wednesday and you said that you could come over after work to talk but it would have been late and I had a massive stone inside my stomach that was stopping me from eating thinking and sleeping. I didn’t want to accept that maybe you had used me over the weekend.

It was Thursday and people started asking questions and asking if I was sure and I didnt know what to tell anyone.

It was Friday.

It was Saturday

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

It was Friday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You was anxious-part 15- one of those things

The thing is, things seem to happen to people and they just keep on happening.

It’s not your fault. It’s not karma sometimes theres just no explanation, it’s one of those things.

Mostly.

It’s harder when people cut your off stop communicating. When things happen that no one could foresee.

I really wish I could write about dragons and flying unicorns.

But it’s not like that.

The world is real and the world doesn’t give a fuck about you. The longer you ignore things the worse things become. No one taught me this I learnt this, I’ve seen it.

I’ve seen peoples relationships become destroyed because of peoples selfish behaviours.

You don’t have to change just be more mindful of people around you. Thats what my counsellor says.

She was so shocked and confused when I told her what happend. As was I. I’m looking forward to seeing her after 5 long weeks.

We sit, we talk, we figure things out. Something we was supposed to be doing.

It’s odd that it was ok for you to be seen clingy, but if I behave that way im crazy. There is no #mushmush on the end of my messages. If I was being romantic, it was just too much to take.

You was anxious too.

You had a choice, fight or flight.

I was anxious- part 10 another month 1st November

I put bird feed out for the birds, but we all know it attracts the rats.

Stand in the garden and all I can hear is loud sirens from the ambulances and police cars.

Living in the city is loud.

I could really do with a hug.

Tiger has been growing her winter coat and I know you didn’t like cats, but she rubbed off on you. Literally, she would push her furry skin up against you and you took her on for the short time you was about.

You would bring her a box of cat food and use the kids bowls to feed her. I was really anxious about that because I didn’t want to get bowls mixed up again and feed the kids cat flavoured coco pops. #nevermind

I loved it when you looked at me with pure innocence but we both knew there was no innocence left inside those eyes.

You was telling me things you hadn’t been telling yourself and things you hadn’t been telling others.

Distance wasn’t about to make the heart grow fonder it was about to break them apart in to tiny teeny pieces.

You haunt me with you words like “mush, mush” and your causal shrug of “sure”. I didn’t want to admit it but I looked up on things you liked because I wanted to get to know you more and understand deep inside your world.

People say I want to have that role of being someone’s saviour but I actually enjoyed the concept of having people around me willing to try and help and save me.

Little things like folding the clothes doing the pots and being interested, invested.

I liked it when you was about to tell me something really kind but then filled in the gaps with “mush, mush”.

#hopelessromantic

You was in your element at least, I thought you was and you wanted to be in my crazy world as much as I wanted to be in yours.

But things changed and I don’t cope well with sudden changes. That’s what you said to me and I felt the same, always felt the same.

It was hard adjusting to having a huge 3 bed house with a drive to being in a little tiny box house with barely any room to swing the cat. Then being back in a fairly huge house again with a garden. If your confused then please go back to other parts of I was anxious.

The space was made up with good company from my neighbour who I also knew from going to school with. I really miss hanging out with her and catching up.

This year has been a significant year for many.

I had mice coming in the front part of the house and it was really handy having a cat about to catch them.

Maybe things I shouldn’t be worrying about. In the end I found it fairly amusing pleasing, thinking wow I’m pretty lucky I have such a loyal cat that’s prepared to fight off these mice.

I’m pretty lucky that I have such a fun loving friend who was there for me whlist I was really struggling with living in that house. I even thought to myself at one point I was prepared to stay there and save for the sake of having a friend next door.

People are kind and sometimes they’re kind in unfamiliar ways.

It’s people like her and you and even you and people like him and my best friend and best friend from college and close friend from Instagram. The children then cat my family, the generous people at my university, hell even moody cow in herons made me happy. High days felt amazing and I needed no cigarettes, no alcohol or money.

That made me want to continue my life.

I.O.U

I can’t remember,
Why am here,
I’m so lost.
I can’t remember your face,
Can’t remember the sense of your body,
I’m lost.
I’ve been walking around this room, for so long,
Figuring out what’s been going on,
I turn on the light and your still gone.
Darkness, gives me some comfort.
I can’t remember your smell,
I thought I knew you so well.

Still doing the patterns,
Behaviours, you taught me.
Cleaning up, because you said,
It would give space, in my head.

Hoping it would impress.

Bring some of you back.

I matched the sofa, to the curtains, in the end,
I cleared the clothes,
Put up a new shower curtain…
Managed the dirty cupboard under the sink.

But then, I fall into a whirlwind Of disturbed thinking.

Crying, myself into the blue.

Tomorrow’s keep on coming,
days grow bigger gaps, to being close to you.

I can’t remember why, I’m here.
I’m so lost,
I can’t understand, why I hold out my hand, and your not there.

I used to think I was walking around inside a nightmare,
But
I know nightmares end,
And this isn’t ending,
I can’t remember your face,
Your hair,
Skin so soft,
Was you ever there?

Can’t remember the taste,
Eyes,
A laugh so contagious… I can’t remember why?
I can’t remember your name,
I said it all along,
Your smell,
I thought I knew you so well…
We didn’t fight,
But I thought it might help now,
If I say your right…

Just so I don’t have to feel these four walls surrounding…
Constricted,
Confined.
Your the one who kept me standing,
Distance.
Left behind.

benefits mum

hello its me
another benefits mum
another where the fucks my child maintenance?
skint at the end of the week
if i rent a house they need 6 month bank statements
in case i’m dodgy
nothing is private

hello its me
another benefits mum
I’ve had my housing delayed
rent nearly late
I made it
tried to get work
but the childcare cost more than a roof and food combined

Hi its me another benefits mum
apart from i’m always off my bum
i’m walking around these streets day in and out repeatedly
and now i’m
another mum asking another mum for a lump sum
to get some food for the little ones

its me
such a strange life to be
when money is controlling me
trapped in a system
patriarchy
cant break free
politicians put a number on me
like a cow in a field
and the media makes me sound like i am some kind of scum
but its hard i have little ones calling me mum
so i must have a responsibility
but the pressure society puts on me
makes me feel like i cant breathe
people assume its how i want to be
but
i could imagine being anywhere better…..

Letter 8 Rizlas

August 2005

dear,

I went to the park on my own today, hoody, joggers green NIKE trainers. I didn’t intend to go out and meet anyone, I just wanted to get out as its the summer holidays and they have been so boring this year. I normally just sit with my headphones in from my mp3 player, sometimes playing the boring album. You can only maybe get 1 or 2 albums on at a time and I don’t have that many CDs to start with anyway, maroon 5 is getting a little bit repetitive.

There where these lads here today that came over to me and started talking one was a little round and tried to bike around on top of the chopped up bark flooring, another one sort of skinny and has glasses and the 3rd he was oldest 15 and seemed a bit scruffy. And my god they could have done with a shower.

One of the lads asked what my name was , and I said Lilyth but it took them awhile to get there tounges around it. Asking me why I was on my own and why I’m not playing with anyone, and I tried to explain that no one I know was around here or out.

I got off the swing and went towards the climbing frame and we sat in the under part, away from the rain. The oldest lad was boasting about how he had learned how to roll cigarettes and that he smokes. He was a lot older than me but we didn’t seem to different. I don’t understand why they smelt so bad, I’m guessing that’s puberty or something. Oh, and they started asking if I was single , that was a little awkward.

Anyway the oldest lad was called Luke and he was really cute and I was telling him off saying he shouldn’t be smoking and that he is too young. When he wasn’t looking I took the packet of Green Rizlas off him. He seemed pretty lost I couldn’t help but think that the summer holiday had been a bit tough for him too.

They walked me home.

August 20th

I’ve been at dads all this week, mum said that the boys from the park keep coming to knock for me I told her to give them my number so I could text.

September 3rd

Mum called me today I haven’t been able to see her for some time dads been driving me around all his work places and I’m back at school this week I cant believe they’ve been knocking for so many weeks, I said to her again to give my number then I could text them, she must keep forgetting.

November 9th

Mum said that it is the last time that them lads call for me and she said she told them not to call on me anymore because I don’t live with her. I said it wasn’t my fault I wasn’t asking them to call on me. I feel a little bit sad though, I’ve put the Rizlas in one of my boxes and put it under the bed.

August 2009

I’ve been clearing out my bedroom now that I have to get ready for GCSE work, when I found this small thing of cig papers. I cant believe that I had them in my room for so long.

i’d give love, for arms

right now
I’d do anything
I’d give my self away
just to be heard again

right now
I’d do anything.
I’d steal
I’d beg
I’d plead
just to get this one thing that I need.

right now
I’d be more than happy
to offer, all my life
for love it has no price
not just a sacrifice
leave a sour taste for afterlife
and I know its not much in return
and I don’t think I will ever learn
but I would give my whole
pour all my heart and soul…

I’d give love,
just for your arms.

gone

it’s really starting to hit home
that your gone.. and I’m alone
and I hate this selfish feeling for need,
its unsettling me,
that your gone,
and the memories…
all muddled into one,
become fog,
like we never ever met,
seems wrong,
I hate it,
its horrible,
we can’t and dont talk,
and I go around in circles in my head all day,
telling myself all the bad,
making it sound good.

The Cage (adult short story)

Adult short story based on an experience.
By Lilyth Coglan
WordPress: lettersyoullneversee2019.com

My eyes were slowly starting to open, and I thought maybe I had made it back home. Why was it still dark? and where was I? My head felt like it was internally bruised. I could only just lift it up off the floor, it felt heavy.
I began to gather myself and I could see that I was inside something? A boot of a car? No. Someone’s house, I don’t think so. I used my arms to slowly lift myself off the floor, there was a dim flicker of light. I feel like I have been carried and put here as my legs feel so weak and I’m tired. I’m not sure what to think, it’s been a long night, week in fact. But now, I’m starting to panic.
My feet are bare, but I still have my black dress on that I bought with my best friend on my 19th birthday. It has thin straps over the shoulder and comes just before the knee. I seemed to have one strap snapped dangling on to my back. I could see that my nails are still painted in glossy red, some chipping on my thumb and middle finger. I can sense a strong smell of perfume, vodka and red bull and passive cigarette smoke.
Where am I? What is this place, is it some sick prank that I’ve been dragged into, literally dragged?
With the flickering of yellow light, I could see my heels in the distance just lying there, bundled together. Shadow lines where falling on to me as I began to regain consciousness some more, I could see that I seemed to be in a jail? or a cell?
Maybe there was a fight and I got pulled into it.
I’m innocent!
I could feel my heart racing and my hands beginning to shake. I’m standing up now and I can see that I am surrounded by metal poles, all lined together. I think I am stood in a shape, I’m walking up towards the bars around me. I’m in a square sort of shape.
“Hello! Help! Help! Anyone here?”
My voice, not even echoing. I shout louder.
“Help me! Help!”
I can’t see anything else in the room, no windows, no doors and worst of all no people. I sat back down along the bars and trying to think hard about what’s happening.
I seem to be sat inside a cage.
*
The room’s still dark, I’ve been sat here for maybe 10 minutes, thinking. The night began early like many, we had alco’ pops at home in the flat. It’s a nightmare flat. The neighbours above have been throwing needles out on the garden floor, it’s a shared garden, but that’s not the kind of sharing I want to be doing. I hate that place, but this place I’m in right now doesn’t seem to be much better.
There’s no one here, I’m going to waste my breath.
“Hello! Hello! HELLO!”
I must have been pretty wasted, I can still taste this fresh taste of acidic burning in my tummy. I am starting to feel grateful for the things I have out of this cage. Wow, this is a lot of deep thoughts in the space. I must have had my phone on me at some point, but I can’t remember having a bag, I remember Katie and I messaging each other throughout the night. I just started to think about all my family and friends especially my best friend Katie if I’m here then, where is she? have they got her too? I am so confused I just want to get out, I can feel myself feeling more and more squashed the longer I’m in here and I feel like crying isn’t going to help either.
I gave up on the only exit I could see and started to walk around the cage and see if I could see anything significant.
A flickering of pasty yellow light kept coming and going. Like a light in a hall of a big house that needs changing and is about to blow. It feels like it’s the only thing keeping me sane right now.
I came up with an idea to reach my shoes through the bars, maybe the pointy heel part could help me jab the lock open, I tried with huge efforts to slide my slim arms through the gaps in the railings.
Eventually I decided to call a defeat. I’m stuck alone and clearly no one can hear me.
*
I feel like there’s an out of body of me somewhere else dragging my soul along, perhaps I’m just dreaming. All these thoughts just keep flooding into my head over and over. I curled into a ball and tried to go to sleep. I clenched my eyes shut tightly, but I just couldn’t drift. I wished I was anywhere else but here right now. It reminded me of that scene in Peter Pan where in his hand there is a fairy laid there lifeless, and he chants “I do believe in fairies, I do, I do” and just like that she slowly comes back to life.
There is hope.
For some reason I couldn’t fall asleep and then suddenly, I found myself drift into a heavy deep dream. Friends, the night club, music, dancing. A man whose face I know so well and perhaps even falling for. I kept crossing him on the way out to the smokers’ yard. He was wearing a shirt, looked smart to be honest. He’d been talking to me for some while, I think he fancied me. Katie kept telling me to stay away and I didn’t really know why, she always jokes that she has this sixth sense of being able to tell what people are thinking and what they are doing.
On the 4th time of bumping into him as the night progressed, his collar was covered in makeup smudges and lipstick kisses. Even on his face, I was livid, and I don’t really know why I was to be honest. Maybe because I felt a little led on, and if a girl got that close then he was quite obviously flirting.
‘what’s this!?’ I giggled and hiccupped pulling at his shirt. He just laughed and walked back off into the nightclub. S
Then out of nowhere a bright light beamed on my face. Feeling sad and upset, like the party had suddenly turned for the worst. Why is that my last memories? Is it telling me something?
I opened one eye slowly under this bright light, and then the other. The silence was quickly broken by loud people talking and laughing, arguing and throwing up. I was slumped on the floor sat against a window, crowded with people, loud rowdy drunk people. Could see legs, lots of legs all stood around me. Smell horrible greasy chip fat and burnt pizza cheese.
I tried to hold my gaze long enough but with a huge gasp of air I was sent back spiralling and before I knew it back inside the cage. This time stood up, perfect order, no rips, bruises my shoes dangling in my hands knocking gently together, no horrible after taste of cheap welly vodka and red bull. I felt as if I had just begun the night again. The cage seemed different now. There’s no pitch-black darkness, or a small shadow of flickering light. The room is square and painted white. I still see no exit and no windows.
“Hello, is anyone here?”
I shouted louder.
A force pushed me backwards, I tripped and fell onto the floor banging my head against the bars of the cage. Only to wake up again in what seemed to be the take away.
“what the fuck are you doing?”
A familiar sweet calming voice..
Beside me that same scent, feeling, force of attraction. Hang on, its him the same guy from the club. The same guy that’s been talking to me for almost a year.
“I said what the fuck are you doing?”
I have no idea why she kept saying this, and I don’t think she was saying it to me.
My eyes closed again I really needed to open them, but I just didn’t have the strength. My body paralysed. I have no control over it. I know I have drunk a fair bit, but I have never ended up quite this way. I remember Katie bringing me double vodka cokes, downing sambuca shots. Surely, I haven’t been spiked?
He was leaning on to me close, I managed to turn my head and look at his face. Everything felt like it was in slow motion.
I’ve become unconscious again.
*
I’m stood standing in my underwear, my arms wrapped around my body. This time I seem to be standing inside the cage. The room is spinning lights are flashing, words showing up across the walls in red paint,
‘SLAG, WHORE, FAKE, USER, SEX, SLAG, WHORE, USER, SEX, FAKE’
“Get me out!” I scream “Get me out, I want to leave!” black mascara tears ran down my foundation face. Skin coloured drops dripped on to the collar of my dress.
Running to the bars, I pushed them and pulled them, tried to stretch them open.
“Let me out, let me out now”
Then bam! I was slumped up against the takeaway window. The guy next to me, the guy from the club, the guy I had been texting for almost a year. I could smell his cologne along with sweat from dancing, I didn’t care. I had wanted to be around him for some time. He seemed right, it seemed right.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
That voice again, Katie my beautiful friend. Oh, how relieved I was to hear her sweet Yorkshire accent. My stomach was rough, and I was starting to feel queasy, legs like lead. Then a faint weight was sitting, landed upon my right leg, on the inner thigh. Reaching in further, it was his hand going up my dress.
“I said what the fuck are you doing”
Katie grabbed the guys arm and pulled it off my skin. I stood up with shock, staring into the man’s eyes. I thought maybe one day he was going to be my boyfriend.
Chunks of pizza and chips was thrown across the takeaway floor and pavement.
He smirked, holding his arms out to the side of his hips “I’m not doing anything…”
Katie quickly stood up still in her heels, and what seemed to be in her right hand my shoes and phone. In her left hand a bag of food from the takeaway. She came towards me and lead me out the door to leave. I looked at her, with relief and shock.
“That was scary…”